The Midnight Writer is a freelance writer and contributor to popular websites and magazines. He's written three humor books and often writes while under the influence. Under the influence of what, he will not say.
The Midnight Writer
Baltimore Ravens are Super Bowl XLVII Champions
The Baltimore Ravens survived a late 49ers surge, a controversial non-call in the endzone and a 34-minute power outage to win Super Bowl XLVII by a score of 34-31.
Dan Marino Admits to Fathering a Love Child With a CBS Production Assistant
Hall of Fame quarterback Dan Marino has something that the other men on the CBS 'The NFL Today' show don't -- a Super Bowl ring a kid out of wedlock.
11 Incorrect Spellings of Manti Te’o That People Have Probably Google Searched
Manti Te'o story and his fake girlfriend (pictured hugging above) transcends sports. Everyone wants the real story. So they go to the only credible news source available -- the internet.
Here is Why I Can’t Wait To Stop Trimming My Nose Hairs [Half a Man]
It was, by far, the largest clump of nose hair thine eyes had seen in the flesh. A county fair worthy thatch of hair protruding out the left nostril, like weeds who had found a small sidewalk crack out of which to flourish. It was mesmerizing, snow white, and honestly I couldn't stop since he boarded the train.
Watch this College Football Player Casually Complete a 65” Box Jump [VIDEO]
For some people, athleticism looks boring. Take Dan Sullivan for example, a 6'2, 235 pound linebacker from Monmouth University in New Jersey. He makes this 65" box jump look like he was skipping over a puddle and onto a curb as to not ruin his brand new kicks...
Sam Gordon, 9-Year-Old Female Football Phenom, Invited to Super Bowl
Remember Sam Gordon, the 9-year-old female version of Tecmo Bo Jackson? So does NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. Her Pee Wee football highlight reel and gaudy season stats got the attention of NFL executives. She was invited to the Super Bowl in New Orleans after hanging out with Goodell at a Giants game.
Show Gratitude For Your Crappy Gifts With These Filthy Xmas Cards
It's easy to send Thank You cards for awesome Xmas gifts but what is appropriate when a show of gratitude is in order but the gift sucked jingle balls?
Watch This Clearly Insane Fella Smash Another Driver’s Windshield With His Fist
This video might be good reason for everyone to get a dashboard cam.
Why Pretending to Appreciate Bad Xmas Gifts is Harder Than Faking Orgasms — Half a Man
I’m here to share my expertise with the group. Not about faking orgasms (you’re on your own kid) but to share what I’ve seen, what I’ve learned, and the best ways to react to crap gifts or to avoid the situation all together.
Beer Hunter Jacket Keeps You Warm and Your Brew Ice Cold — Somehow
Made specifically for the hunter, tailgater, "on the train to work" chugger or just any old drunk uncle, the Enjoi Beer Hunter jacket helps lug around all those bottles and cans of beer.