Drunken Man

C'mon, Blue: you're seeing double out there!

One of the most annoying drunk people to be around is the guy who wants to fight everyone. At first, he's great and then he has a few too many Jack & Cokes and he wants to pick a fight with everyone in the bar. Sometimes nothing happens, sometimes the guy ends up getting into a fight, and sometimes the guy gets knocked out cold like this dude at SXSW.

There are a few important things to consider before going out and getting into a bar fight: one, there is no such thing as a fair fight, especially where drunkards are concerned; you will be hit with both foreign and domestic glass objects. Two: there is a really good chance you will end up in jail and possibly even prison. Three: it is possible for a man to get hit hard enough to cause his eyebal

Colorado Rockies superstar Todd Helton is one of the greatest hitters of his generation, thanks in large part to his keen eye at the plate. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said about his mugshot. The 39-year-old first baseman was arrested early Wednesday morning at a Colorado gas station for allegedly driving drunk.

While there is no scientific proof that the consumption of mass quantities of alcohol will render a person completely insane, there is certainly no shortage of case studies within this mad, mad world to build a strong argument against it. See above.

We're no experts, but we imagine that dealing with drunken idiots is every cop's least favorite part of the job, especially guys like the dude about at Oktoberfest, or the Seattle man who recently peed in the back of a patrol car on Sunday while being transported to jail. Hey, can you blame him? At least he was wearing a diaper at the time.

An airport can be one of the quietest places in the world to spend Christmas Eve; that is as long as there isn’t a deviant bartender somewhere in the place feeding last-minute travelers a high-octane concoction of holiday despair and Makers Mark. At that point, everything from hurt feelings to an international incident is possible - and highly likely.