Matt’s True Rock ‘N’ Roll Tales: Mini-Kiss

In the ten years or so I've been in radio, I've had the opportunity to meet some of the greatest musicians ever. Bands like Alice in Chains, Metallica, Megadeth, Ozzy, Alice Cooper...It's been absolutely amazing. So amazing, in fact, that I've decided to write up a weekly piece entitled "Matt's True Rock 'N' Roll Tales". Welcome to entry #1...the night I spent with Mini-Kiss.

For those of you that don't know, Mini-Kiss is a band made up of four little people that tour the country and perform as Kiss. There's Mini-Paul Stanley, Mini-Gene Simmons...you get the idea. Well, what better time to bring Mini-Kiss to Saginaw, Michigan than for a Halloween event sponsored by the radio station I worked for at the time.

Mini-Kiss arrived to the venue and got decked out in their Kiss gear. They put on an amazing show and everyone had a great time...Some apparently more than others. When their set was over, the band retreated to an upstairs room where they could chill out for a bit. It was in this room that a former employee of mine decided to drunkenly tongue kiss (no pun intended) Mini-Peter Criss. As I laughed hysterically, all I could do was high five Mini-Peter and begin to put a plan together on how we were going to get these four makeup-laden little people back to their hotel.

As the low man on the totem pole, it turns out that was my job. So, I loaded all four members of Mini-Kiss into my 2001 Chevy Blazer and we headed for the hotel. During the drive, they decided they needed booze to cap off their night...So, we stop at a local convenience store. Words cannot describe the convenience store employee's face when he sees me walk in with four little people dressed as Kiss. Simply amazing. It turns out that, for whatever reason, this convenience store didn't sell alcohol so the members of Mini-Kiss, visibly upset, decided to start throwing things around the store. Picture random bags of candy flying around with no idea who...or what...was throwing them. This is exactly what it looked like. Both myself and the employee could no longer control our laughter at the sight of four little people dressed as Kiss tearing apart his store. Alas, we had to be on our way.

Once we arrived at the hotel, the members of Mini-Kiss cleaned up and decided that the night was not yet over. Of course it wasn't...the strip club was still open! So, myself, a buddy of mine, Mini-Paul Stanley, and Mini-Peter Criss loaded up and headed to the local gentleman's club. Once again, nothing but stares as we walked in and sat down. Mini-Paul Stanley, who was female by the way, started talking up myself and my buddy. It was at this point that we realized that we knew her from somewhere. Do you remember the MTV show "True Life: I'm A Little Person"? Of course you do. The girl that went on tour with Ozzy...Yeh. It turns out she was now Mini-Paul Stanley. Needless to say, she was less than amused when we brought this up and said she hates when she gets recognized. Hey, if you're going to be on a popular TV show...expect to get recognized. She couldn't have been that upset, though, because she started handing me singles and calling girls over. Thank you, Mini-Paul Stanley. The night was officially over.

I returned the members of Mini-Kiss to their hotel...only to return a few hours later to pick them up and take them to the airport. Once again, I loaded up my 2001 Chevy Blazer with the bands manager and the four members of Mini-Kiss. I drove them up to the airport and loaded them out. We shook hands, thanked each other for an amazing event, and they were on their way. Odds are...they'd probably forget most of what happened that night because they'd have another show very soon. I, on the other hand, would never forget it.

And, that was the night I spent with Mini-Kiss.