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It’s Almost 2018 and Pumping Gas in Winter Still Sucks

YanLev | ThinkStock

It’s cold. It’s snowing. It’s windy. And pumping gas is the worst part of it all.

Despite all of the things we need to do when it’s cold outside such as shovel snow, somehow that is a more enjoyable experience than pumping gas.

Sometimes we just have to go outside to do something. Pumping gas is doing something. But the thought, and the experience, of just standing there and letting all the elements hit you is awful.

The process rivals that of standing behind someone at a self check out line who has no idea what the heck they are doing. HOW HARD IS THAT?! BARCODE ON THE GLASS… THEN PUT THE THING IN THE BAG! AND CAN YOU GO A LITTLE QUICKER? THERE’S OTHER HUMANS BEHIND YOU. If you don’t know where the barcodes are on products, you aren’t suited for self checkout. But at least that happens inside.

Gas station pumps already have a roof over the pumps in most places. There are lights on those roofs which means there is electricity. There’s this really cool thing called a heater. Have you ever heard of those things every gas station ever?

Can we at least install a few of those large outdoor heaters on the roof to help us out a little bit? I understand an indoor gas station probably isn’t practical. Fumes. Leaks. Spills. I get it.

Wind guards? Yea that’d be nice. Especially in North Dakota. Not sure how practical that is either.

But install heaters. I know it’s expensive to run heaters all day and night for 7 months. I would pay $2 more per gallon in the winter to have hot air blow on me while I stand there like a schmuck letting Mother Nature do whatever it wants to me.

Domino’s has delivery cars with ovens in them to keep pizza warm. When did pizza get priority over humans? When the Domino’s guy gets gas, the pizza in his (or her) car is getting treated like a King (or Queen) while the delivery guy is just another weather peasant. The humans are the ones eating the pizza. Let’s work on keeping the humans warm. We’ll worry about the pizza later.

I’m taking Uber all winter.

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