Man Who Committed Sex Acts With Vegetables Going to Jail for Life
We can only imagine what this guy thinks about butternut squash.
Lunatic Customer Stabs Cook 14 Times During Nacho Disagreement
Maybe blame it on low blood sugar?
Woman’s Headaches Are Really a Spider Living in Her Ear
Daddy longlegs, meet migraine.
Hungry Teacher Bites Student Sleeping in Class
Give this teacher an apple -- it's a more appropriate thing for him to chew.
Grown Woman Attacks Mom With a Cheeseburger
It's the most mouth-watering crime we've ever heard.
Guys Go On Shooting Spree After Getting Pizza With Wrong Toppings
Control your rage, people.
Foul-Mouthed Amazon Echo Suggests All Kinds of Porn — To a Toddler [NSFW]
It's possible Alexa has a case of Tourette's.
Man Wins $1.4 Million Betting Donald Trump Will Become President
You think Donald Trump was the big winner of the presidential election? In the words of the one-time reality star, “Wrong!”
Cop Fired for Feeding Excrement Sandwich to Homeless Man
This man is a piece of...well, you know.
Helpess Driver Chases Sliding Car Down Snowy Road in Ultimate Driving Fail
Always leave your car in park.